I'm at the Catch right now. Ditched work from mid-Wilshire to get some fat money for helping to keep an eye on the club while a film crew shoots. It's pretty light work so far, and Gilbert is also here to handle the more interesting stuff.

Saturday was good. I got to hang out with 'Drew while Heather got ready for a potluck social. I had the night off from the club, and it was very nice to go to the park with the boy, hang out and push him on the swings, and get a little workout on the new equipment. From there, we came home, got him in the bathtub to wash icky playground sand off, and ordered a pizza. We scarfed down cheezy goodness and I got to sit and watch Naruto with him. Worked in a few rounds of Soul Caliber II and put him to bed. It was a good night. :-)

Sunday, I sent him on his way to hang out with his stepdaddy. That was actually a good thing, since I was looking forward to a fairly rough day. Yesterday was the first Father's Day without my Uncle Larry or Gramps. To give you an idea, I started crying just typing that. I had a good distraction in the form of some light club work around noon, helping get a clean-n-sober party set up at the Catch. But stewing around the house, coupled with a 24-hour sinus headache putting Heather down, didn't do much for my morale or demeanor. What DID make things a bit better was some fine BBQ action with Stone Cold and Wally joining Heather and myself, followed by some firepit socializing. The evening really salvaged the day.

I know it will start getting easier with regards to the pain of loss of Larry and Gramps, but it's gonna be a while. I know I'll outlast it, but it just keeps getting worse as the holidays come around. The memories are vivid, and the hole in my life is painful.

Those halves are developing well
My wounds are remainders
Painful as hell
Either one face each on one side
Like a wall in the heart
Like twins torn apart

Tonight is going to be rough. I'm still pulling myself together emotionally. The full day of work here at the club will help quite a bit. I can vent some angst into some grunt work. Jonni is going to come in early and help with the set-up chaos. I'll try to show her a thing or two about operations as well.

Find out the way that it feels
Structures fall to pieces
Deny Your Ideals
Bury the Earth
Let's take every nation
Systems struggle
Borders fall
Shake the foundation